Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love what I do. I have a great church, a wonderful group of people that I get to minister to every week. These people love us and are more like a family than congregation. When I make this statement I am talking about things that are happening in my personal life rather than ministry life.
Maybe some explanation will shed some light on my current status. About 25 years ago God brought a couple into our lives. These 2 people have become more than family. We meet each week, we vacation together and we have raised our kids together. For me it is a Jonathan/David kind of friendship. I realize that as a Pastor I am incredibly blessed to have a relationship like this. Our friends attend a different church and are involved in serving in that ministry. In fact, when they were looking for a new church home, I told them not to come to our church. I explained that I wanted to be their friend and not their “Pastor”.
And that brings me to my dilemma. My friend is a 4 time survivor of colon cancer. He was first diagnosed over 22 years ago and we have been with them through this whole journey. He had his colon removed 2 1/2 years ago and we thought the battle was over. Last month he was diagnosed for the 5th time. The situation is much more difficult this time, because it has reached other into the lymph nodes.
My wife and I are traveling this journey together with them, but we can only carry so much. As far as their spiritual care, I often find myself feeling the need to go into “pastor” mode as we talk. I don’t want to be a Pastor. I want to be a friend and that is what makes this tough. The beauty of our relationship is that I can be a friend. Don’t get me wrong, as friends we talk about spiritual things, but I do not want the responsibility of his spiritual care. I want their Pastor and I want their small group to come alongside of them. My friend and I have talked about this and are in agreement that we want our relationship to stay the same.
I don’t know if this is a common struggle, but it is definitely a struggle as we journey down this road. So I find myself in a conundrum, I love being a Pastor, but during times like this, I don’t want to be a Pastor.
THOT – As a Pastor, we are always “on call”. What practices have you developed to recharge your batteries from a job that is literally 24/7? Even Jesus pulled away from time to time to recharge, so how do you follow His example?
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